PLAYER TO HUSBAND

Let me introduce my self. My name is M. Jamal, I am the author of the upcoming novel "From Player to Husband." I know the transformation from Player to Husband is real. I have had the pleasure of being married for ten beautiful years. I want to thank everyone for their comments. Each comment is an enlightening thought and is greatly appreciated. Each week there will be a different topic for you to express your opinion. I hope you find the topics interesting enough to share this site with a friend. Peace, M Jamal

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Emotions

Do you think women are more likely than men to become emotionally attached after the act of having sex, if so why?

28 comments:

David Muhammad said...

Women seek comfort in strength guidance and leadership... Women's gifts are nurturer, first teacher and giver, it is in the very nature of woman to connect the physical with the emotional and the emotional with the physical; for the woman a co-creator of the divine creative force the act of love-making i.e. sex is a divine act, a sacred emotional bond that goes beyond a man's comprehension...

David "sensei" Muhammad
Las Vegas NV

Marvin said...

Lawless1Women are emotionally bonded by their feelings and men don't show emotions as easily as women.

Anonymous said...

because women tend to equate sex with emotional commitment

Canandian Connection said...

To me it is a matter of survival and basic instincts.

Both males and females were blessed with logic and emotion.

Example 1: Logical (common sense) weeds out the dummies and lets the smart survive i.e. maybe I shouldn't get to close to the 50 foot cliff because there is a chance I could fall and die.

Example 2: Emotion (feelings) also designed to keep the smart around, but it goes in opposition of logic. i.e. I feel something bad will happen if I go out of the cave by that cliff today. Later that day there is a wind storm and someone dies.

Both examples arrive at the same conclusion- survival and perpetuation of the species in totally different ways.

Males were blessed with 2 scoop of logic and 1 scoop of emotion, so most things are logical have an order and make total sense, to us that is.

Females were blessed with 2 scoops of emotion and 1 scoop of logic, so most thing feel right or wrong without necessarily having order or making sense.

With sex males approach it as, I have these strong urges, I should act on them, I feel satisfied, it makes sense to feel satisfies and keep trying to feel satisfied with whom ever, oh and it helps perpetuate the species. - End of story.

Females approach sex as I like him he likes me. I have a good feeling about him and his ability to take care of me and my off spring. I can feel the love between us this is real this is great it makes me feel good and I don't want to lose this one man that makes me feel this way, oh yeah and it helps perpetuate the species - End of story

Same goal (have sex feel good, perpetuate the species) two different approaches women cannot help feeling like they feel (2 scoops emotion) and men cannot help think like they think (2 scoops of logic).

Don't get it twisted males still feel emotion but it doesn't rule there basic survival instinct, thought process or overall functioning the same way it does with women.

Anonymous said...

this totally depends on the emotional maturity of the individuals...i have a mutual attraction with a former coworker, but have never said anything to her. Although i'm happily married, i do think of her quite often.

Anonymous said...

Most women will actually get emotionally attached to any man that can physically satisfy. Emotional gratification usually comes days before sex or years after. If a woman’s intent is to only be physically satisfied, they need to not fall for lust.

DESIRE said...

The act of sex for women becomes complicated if she wants a relationship. Most women would love to have it all. A husband two kids and a dog.

Women often use sex as a way to tame/or control a man. Each and everyone woman thinks her lovin is the best and it has super powers.

Contrary to that falsehood, the act of the man entering the body of the woman has an emotional attachment. At that moment he has entered her temple.

Women often feel if I give him a piece of me, he will desire me more. We all know that is far from the truth.

We need to get to know a person before entering into casual intercourse.

We are more emotional than males. The male has been breed to conquer everything in his path(encluding women). Once he has conquered, he moves on to conquere another.

Sisters wake up! You are more than a mans bedmate. Get to know him well before you let him enter your temple.

Anonymous said...

women love harder my brother!

Anonymous said...

Men have just as much emotion as women, the exception is they handle it differently.Love-making, sex or whatever you want to call it is just that an act of physical contact. If he barely knows you or just met you then its a man being a man. His emotions won't come into play until he really gets to know who you are.

Anonymous said...

Women need to understand that a mans going to be a man.

Anonymous said...

SJL Women should understand,the act of having sex is just that,if your looking for LOVE maybe you shouldn,t have sex untill your in love.Be straight and up front about your feelings it will elimanate the act of just HAVING SEX.

darrius602 said...

Women are more likely to be more emotionally attached after sex because they are emotional beings by nature, and the act of sex is directly linked to their emotions. Due to these facts, sex for most women is the physical manifestation of the emotional and mental processes that they have formed for the man they are involved with. Therefore, a woman percieves an emotional connection with a man long before she decides to reveal the type of underwear she wears, let alone allow a man to see them!!!

BLU said...

^5 muhammad,Just has beyond man's comprehension of the holy trinty.

Being a Woman I have to answer YES for the majority anyway; We are emotionally involued with the man long before we have decided to be sexual with him; FYI we know within the 1st 3 minutes rather we are going to be intimate with a man but, a man can change our minds about him in the next 2 minutes, the wait in between the 1st 3 minutes and the actual sex
is to make him believe we aren't that easy, since guys think baddly of a woman if she doen't hold out.
The sex act itself forms a soul-tie, which is our way to stay connected in hopes that he will become our boaz'(mr right).
For the sisters who have had their share of broken hearts and have LEARNED the art of Man,the ability to have sex with no emotional attachment the answer whould be NO.< She's getting her sexual needs met and moving on without an emotional thought she may not even kiss a man with an open mouth. If he satisfies her sexually she may keep him around to meet that need often, until he starts expressing his emotions and then he's out and she moves on to the next one. (little does she care that she broke this mans heart and may cause him to become just as cold as she is).

drea said...

i think that naive women tend to fall in love after sex. women wear their emotions on their sleeves. a true woman will treat sex as just that. if the man shows interest towards a relationship then she can decide if she wants more than sex. sex is a very beautiful thing and great sex is even better. so my advice would be to get it while the getting is good and see what comes out of it.

Shamarr W. said...

Well in my opinion I would say it all starts with feelings, You see us men are constantly battling the lower nature of self. Most of the time the lower nature wins. We would persue a woman just because she looks fantastic in black tights. Wich is fine, thats natural. I believe a woman looks into our soul before we've even had a chance to get passed our own sexual innuendos. Sometimes this can take weeks.Sometime it may never happen. In those weeks quite frankly, sex is the most predominant thought In a mans mind. As a womans feelings grow a mans sex drive grows. Sometimes we can even fool our self into thinking we want more than sex. Once it happens its like "okay lets slow it down I dont want all this!" If we persued all women with a higher mind I believe that the sex would mean more. In my opinion things would go much smoother. Theres nothing like sex with a woman you have a true intrest in.

Peace.
-Shamarr W.

Shardai Cleveland Detroit MI said...

I do agree that women become more attached emotionally after having sex, but i do not agree that it's just because of the sex. This is because in most cases we as women are sensitive human beings, and our feelings goes deeper way and beyond. Also, I must say, that women are very choosey about who they sleep with, so if we a women are sleeping with a man, or are about to sleep with a man we must have feelings for that individual. You see being a man like yourslef, I am sure that you know that it is kind of hard for a woman to find out if a man becomes emotionally attached due to their fear of them thinking that they will be some kind of sucka or softy. Although the sex may have been great all and that man is coming back for more still does not mean he is attached, most of the time the sex good! Man know when we as women become attached because it show in numerous of ways. I have alot to say about this because being a young woman like myself I know for a fact that if I sleep with a man I go tto have feelings fo him. Know I'm not speaking for all, but most, because evedn if a womenis a slut, or an hore, she still have feelings. to sum it up, The answer balls down to be that the women fromthe beginning was already attached, but when men, and women experience having sex, it brings the emotions out more then before. The men began to think that she is emotionally attached afterwards. The truth is that the sex brought out the emotions, they were already htere from the beginning.

Cake Stacks said...

Women are only emotional if you lay it down....and every aint brotha puttin in work like that. I know, their women usually call me to fill in the blanks.

been played said...

i am going to play devils advocate after reading the different comments. i will admit some are very interesting. years ago i would have agreed that women were more likely to become attached. but today's woman is a tad bit different. we live in the age of the video vixen where women are tagging men as trophies. in a lot of instances women are now notching their bed post with men they find desirable. and if you aint slangin then you wont get a second chance. make no mistake i got a second chance but was eventually cut off. the question i ask is how did the moral fiber of women sink to such a low point!!!! ps the woman that played me was married

aj from the K said...

This depends…if you are speaking of casual sex, without any commitments, I believe men become emotionally attached. Reason being – in the beginning, this is what most men want – no commitments. A woman who is focused and determined is able to unite her mind, heart and body as one or separate the three. Women, who know what they want and seek it out, get what they want. And if this entails no emotional attachment, then there is no emotional attachment.

If you are speaking of a situation that is in pursuit of a successful, till death do us part relationship (marriage), I would say women are more likely to become emotionally attached. Reason being – most women get involved with their minds…hearts then bodies. When women are passionate about something they tend to align the three with whatever they are doing – this includes sex. Unlike men, for women, giving of their bodies is the ultimate way of connecting with a man. It is a connecting of mind, heart and body. Keep in mind that sex is not just a physical involvement, it is spiritual. Most women are in tune or can connect easier with their spiritual side than men. Most women are also more in tune with their emotions than men.

The bottom line is that sex itself connects two people – it makes soul ties. Soul ties bind people together…and eventually, your emotions will become the same as the one you have sex with. Whether you believe it or not – the two truly become one.

aj from the K said...

This depends…if you are speaking of casual sex, without any commitments, I believe men become emotionally attached. Reason being – in the beginning, this is what most men want – no commitments. A woman who is focused and determined is able to unite her mind, heart and body as one or separate the three. Women, who know what they want and seek it out, get what they want. And if this entails no emotional attachment, then there is no emotional attachment.

If you are speaking of a situation that is in pursuit of a successful, till death do us part relationship (marriage), I would say women are more likely to become emotionally attached. Reason being – most women get involved with their minds…hearts then bodies. When women are passionate about something they tend to align the three with whatever they are doing – this includes sex. Unlike men, for women, giving of their bodies is the ultimate way of connecting with a man. It is a connecting of mind, heart and body. Keep in mind that sex is not just a physical involvement, it is spiritual. Most women are in tune or can connect easier with their spiritual side than men. Most women are also more in tune with their emotions than men.

The bottom line is that sex itself connects two people – it makes soul ties. Soul ties bind people together…and eventually, your emotions will become the same as the one you have sex with. Whether you believe it or not – the two truly become one.

GERALD said...

In my my opinion for the most part,I would have to say "YES" women are emotionally attatched when the physical act of love making is involved and not so much with men. The reason I say this is bscause a woman will use her heart to make her decision. A man on the other hand will use his head and (not the one on his shoulders). Example: A woman can be dealing two men at the same time and only one brotha' can get some nookie on Monday. The other brotha' may have to wait until Wednesday, maybe Thursday. A man can be dealing with three or four women at the same time and if time permits he will hit all four of them with at least two of them gettin' hit IN THE NAME OF IT and a blow job from a head hunter from a previous relationship.

GERALD
A.K.A "TWEET
CHICAGO'IL
DETROIT,MI

A fool led astray by too many women said...

There are many exceptions on both sides but I will take a shot at a generality. First, the question assumes both parties do not have an emotional attchment *before* having sex. Women are more likely to have an emotional attachment before having sex. It would be fair to say, that many women feel they have to like or love a man before allowing him to enter her because for them trust and some emotional intimacy is required before his body can enter hers. Unless the woman is going to use a strap-on, the man doesn't have to deal with the feeling of anyone (or anything) being in him. So he's more ready to engage in sex on a casual basis.
Now after sex is another matter. Men often come to feel a greater connection to a woman they have had sex with. A woman who had worked as a prostitute said to me that prostitutes often have to deal with men declaring their love after having sex. This suggested to me that men's emotional responses often are triggered by physical intimacy. The connection can range from a sort of ownership ("I tagged her ass.") to a release of emotions (like how hugging releases emotions)that a man pleasurably experiences (and so identifies the woman as the enabler of emotional release, "I can be real with her." --note that men who find emotional release as uncomfortable or scary will become avoidant, "She makes me weak."). The connection through sex can lead a man to percieve a "soul-tie", thus leading to a "deeper" love.
But if women are more likely to have the emotional bond before sex, that means that for the women who do not have that bond before sex, there are reasons to not have emotionally connective responses. Such reasons include; women who use sex to manipulate men for financial , social and status gain, women who are avoidant of emotional intimacy, women who are compulsive in their sexual activity.
In short, women are more likely to emotionally respond and so feel connection before they have sex and men are more likely after.
What confuses the whole matter is skankiness; the quality of wanting to have sex with whomever we are attracted. We all experience multiple attractions and the sexual drive pushes us to fuck what we want. That's how men and women end up in affairs even when they love their spouse/mate. That's why we see men and women engage in sex that endagers safety, reputation, job and status. We all have a bit of the skank in us. True skanks (people who promiscuously fuck without emotional connection) confuse the rest of us even more though hurt, rejection, beyond-normal deception, etc).
hmm..I'm guessing that the book Player to Husband will not just cover how one man goes from Player to Husband but that we'll see characters that range from player to husband/wife.

Anonymous said...

Yes, it is true women due tend to be more emotional when it comes to sex..but after bumping my head several times and talking to a sister from Africa. I've learned to separate sex and emotional love. Now I do just that..have sex, enjoy myself, get up and go have a martini and a steak dinner. I feel quite content. I was seeing a so called player(job,cultured,nice car,nice dresser),He informed me he only wanted sex. I said"good..let the games begin!" After 2years he started talking about babies and a nice ring. I pulled out...He still e-mails me and leave messages. You know it felt real good to be on the other side. He said "most women are turned off by my honesty!" Yeah..right. I gotta thank that sister from Africa.

Motty Mott said...

I think we need to evaluate the question. Why would one even ponder such a question unless there was some ill motive or deception intended? Whether they become emotionally involved is a distraction from a greater issue because we must follow the guidance given to us by Almighty God. Did He give us the standard? The answer is yes so the standard is that sex outside of marriage is fornication. Don't get mad at me for I did not make the law. David Muhammad outlined the nature of the woman wonderfully. But let's take it further. No one obeys the law in this day in time and we have strayed so far from what God has commanded that we make disobedience 'fair seeming'. So we can ask a question such as, "does a woman get emotional when I hit it?", in spite of the knowledge that God has made man to be the protector, provider, and maintainer of women. That's like me asking is a person more likely to get angry after I smack them in the head? How can I focus on the emotion instead dealing with the principle of the 'action'?

I think this is a topic worthy of discussion because it puts light on the responsibility of the man, especially in this time that we are living. Unless you've been living in some type of time capsule you can see that we are living in the day of Judgement, its not a time yet to come, its here.

So in conclusion, all I'm saying is men must mature, grow up and take responsibility and walk in accordance with what God has put on our shoulders to handle. Our women, families and community are in distress and it is up to us to pick up ourselves and uplift our women and care for them so that they may bring into life a generation of peace and paradise.

But don't take your brothers words for it...play on playas. God has also given us what lies in store for those who embrace disobedience.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous V:
Although I have not yet had sex, I view it as the ultimate act of love between a man and a woman. It should never be entered into lightly. 2 bodies become 1 during sexual intercourse. Due to a woman being more emotionally wired, the sense of connection becomes more than just a physical one. In a deep, loving relationship, you give parts of yourself to that other individual even if it never enters the physical realm. If it goes into the physical realm, I imagine that the sense of giving of one's self would become even greater, at least for a woman. I view my virginity and sexuality as a precious gift only to be given to the man that has first won my love, my respect, and my heart. That man will be my husband and only after becoming my husband will he truly be worthy to receive one of the most precious gifts that I could ever hope to give him.

Anonymous said...

By nature women who are the co-creators under the almighty GOD cannot seperate sex and emotions. Some can but only after abuse or some serious imbalance. Women have this incredible ability to give give give and suffer suffer suffer. But men on the other hand sex can be a physical act and an emotional act and the two can be seperated easily by men..
Women must understand this

david "sensei" Muhammad
Las Vegas NV

Vizual said...

I think women are more likely depending how how good the sex was and vice versa. If the bed partner has some strong attributes going for them and they are good in bed then it can go either way. To speak of how we are created by nature and "traditionally" how women have been at this point is somewhat moot. Unfortunately the only true intercourse is that of a mental and spiritual nature. Attachment through the physical is baseless in this day and age when the physical has become so undervalued.

Anonymous said...

back in the day women use to equate sex with emotions but women are becoming more like guys now! "love them and leave them"...."booty calls"....."friends with benefits"
its like they are saying, Its our turn!